Old past emotions….and the crap that comes with it

The other day right after class I was listening to Tori Amos, My Boss (who I was not aware na fan pala cya of her music) told me about this track from her that makes him absolutely sad and depressed, (in short..emotional), I kinda did not take him that seriously since he was my boss…. The next day he gave me a mi cd of her best tracks and I listened to it true enough after listening to it for a couple of times It made me feel the emotions exactly as how he described it.

Its been a while since I felt really extremely emotional again, simply because I started to retrospect again on the emotions I had,and forgot.turns out I did not forget, I never did…. The song was about a lady had who had to deal with a man that truly loved her , but that she wasn’t emotionally available for him,And when the time came that she was ready,He was gone he was no longer there..He was already gone. The day my boss gave me that mixtape I listened to it on my way home I was really tired and I went straight to bed while listening to it, I woke up in the middle of my sleep and I had to cry because the words were repeating itself in my head “Can you explain If truly his heart Was made of icing” And for some odd reason 2 persons came into my head. They both are gone and I am not really sure where they are at this point but they left me nothing more but a big question in my head. And I cried.

Crying is ok. If only I could cry everything out so that I don’t need to cry anymore,so when I see him or him I don’t need to carry the burden of crying and feeling of guilt I still have….and will have.

Baker Baker – Tori Amos

Baker baker
Baking a cake
Make me a day
Make me whole again
And I wonder
What`s in a day
What`s in your cake this time
I guess you heard he`s
Gone to LA
He says that behind
My eyes I`m hiding
And he tells me
I pushed him away
That my heart`s been hard to find
There must be something here
There must be something here

Baker baker
Can you explain
If truly his heart
Was made of icing
And I wonder
How mine would taste
Maybe we could change his mind
I know you`re late
For your next parade
You came to make sure
That I`m not running
Well I ran from him
In all kinds of ways
Guess it was his turn this time

Thought I`d make friends with time
Thought we`d be flying
Maybe not this time

Baker baker
Baking a cake
Make me a day
Make me whole again
And I wonder
If he`s ok
If you see him
Say hi

 Maybe if I see him I won’t say hi……


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