In every relationship it’s important to remember where resentment, anger and jealousy originate – within us.
We build walls, kill intimacy and keep love out by creating resentment within ourselves. And it’s only natural to project this resentment onto other people in our lives, especially those we hold dearest to our hearts.
But, our challenge is, time and time again, to come back to ourselves and see that we are 100% responsible for our emotions. It may seem, on the surface, like a totally natural and logical thing to blame others for how we feel. We believe that “they did” something “to us”. But see, the thing is, no matter what “they did” “to us”, it was always in the past. So, how we live NOW and in the future is in our hands. How do you want to interpret the events of the past? What meaning do you want to apply to the past?
Also, can we have the awareness to step outside ourselves and see how we are showing up in the relationships in our lives? What unexpressed feeling or emotion are we allowing to well up within us, slowly, day by day? Can we own that we are not keeping our side of the table clean?
We can’t take responsibility for other people’s action, but we are 100% responsible for our reaction to other people. Also, we cannot blame other people for us not keeping our side of the street clean.
Knowing that we have power on both sides of a transgression is a game changer because we see that we can begin to take responsibility for our lives, instead of just being at the whim or other people, places or situations.
How people treat you defines them, how you respond defines you. What happened is what happened. What you choose to do from here will determine the future.
In every moment, the choice is yours.