The NEXT Chapter

The next chapter happens as this is being written as i have not been able to diligently post back on the things that need to be posted and the life events that needed to be shared. Only because I took into reason that ” I don’t have time”, or “I’m too busy” or “I’ll just do this later” or even the incidents like “I don’t have internet connection right now”. And because of all of those excuses that I had and the  excessive number of times I have chosen to procrastinate here I am over a year later with a bunch of unedited drafts and a boring blog that I now need to revive for the sake of diversion.

I don’t recall the emotions I had whilst wring the old posts that have been left in the draft. I know there should be some significance to what you were feeling as to what you were writing, but because I went dormant on this writing thing I don’t know where to continue it anymore.


Over the past year so many things has happened. So many events, so many people who came and have gone, for some gone forever. gained weight. lost weight, and gained it all back again.( hahahahahah) I was so close to meeting that man who made my heart skip a beat when I was a child but he turned out to be a total wuss and broke it even before we had the fairytale reunion haha. ( whatever you may call it) I also apparently almost crossed paths in the airport with the douche bag who broke my heart more than once within a two-year period. It was like I was in a period of suntan and total torture.

As of right now I’m currently employed by a company who has opted to stretch me to bits and throw me out the shark tank, I am in a location where all eyes are waiting for me to make a mistake,its like a dirt feast happening on a daily basis.  The last time I checked shark tanks only exists on aquariums. I also don’t think that I should waste my time pleasing everyone anymore. I am hoping though to be able to find a normal job with normal working hours. maybe that will help me take the toxicity out. That would possible be the addition of being a better me.

So here I am ranting and being thankful at the same time for everything that has passed over the most recent year and a half that I have not jotted down. I don’t many things right at the first time so I’m sure that a lot of what I have done and written down are mistakes I have made or have repeated, However what is life going to be like if we don’t  try again?

Try again till you get it right.

Right now I am looking forward to the next of everything. whether I will lose weight or not, whether I will find my prince of sarcasm or not, whether I live a life full of caffeine and cigarettes . No one ever said it was going to be easy but it does not mean it going to be that hard.


True Love is letting go

It’s okay to let go.

True Love is letting go. Freedom and free will are the by-products of Love.

So many of us lead our lives holding on so tightly that nothing new, nothing miraculous can find us.

We have been taught for a very long time that holding on is what makes us strong, is what Love is made of and is the best answer.

But we are stepping into a new paradigm. We are stepping into a time where growth and Love lead the way. This means we are constantly changing, evolving, dying and being reborn.What must come first is our own spiritual growth. This means listening to our intuition, trusting our gut and expressing ourselves authentically without hiding.

Holding on to a broken relationship stunts our growth. You don’t get points for how much you suffer. “What if your blessings come through raindrops? What if your healing comes through tears?”

Our relationships have been sent to teach us, to mold us and to shape us. When we seek Love, The Universe sends us all kinds of relationships that bring to the surface all the blocks we have to Love.

We must learn to identify when the lesson is over. Relationships are containers for growth, not opportunities to suffer so we can prove how much we “love” someone. And a relationship isn’t full if both people aren’t in self-love and then sharing their love with each other from a place of overflow.

Some people are sent to us for quick lessons, some are sent to us for seasonal lessons and some are sent to us for a lesson we are to be taught over a lifetime.

Let us not try to learn and purify ourselves outside of Love, but instead invoke Love in our lives and recognize that the Love of The Uni-verse IS the purifier and the teacher. The face of Love may change, but the energy of Love of The Uni-verse never changes.

Let us no longer try to prove our Love by how much we can hold on to toxic situations and people, but rather by how much we are willing to let go once the lesson has been learned. There is no rulebook for this principle. This is something we must each learn individually and grow into.

The setup so that we have free will to choose to connect to Love, or not. We must give ourselves this freedom as well as all the people in our lives.

For Love does not seek to control, but rather gives freedom.

P.s  Thank you charles for the picture its lovely

Its your list to make

There is a major difference between trying to prove your love and simply sharing your love.

I can’t tell you how many times I have in the past tried to prove my love. I’ve tried to show men and women and other people how worthy I am, how loving I am, how rad I am.

I realized that I kept doing this because I had yet to truly realize how worthy, loving and rad I was. If I had really known this, I wouldn’t have been trying to prove it to other people.

Make a list of all the things you wish other people would see about you. Make a list. You wish what? They would see how rad, awesome, loving, supporting, caring, and faithful, etc you are? Make the list…

Now, ask yourself if you are demonstrating these qualities towards yourself? The answer is probably no for some or all of the qualities you listed.

So, how would you act if you were actually demonstrating these qualities? That version of you is who will attract people who see you. When you see you, other people will too.

Then, you can SHARE your gifts, your love and your worth with them and receive their worth, gifts and love. This is massively different than trying to prove yourself to someone else.

When we try to prove ourselves to others, it is because we do not see our great qualities and are not giving these qualities to ourselves. Once we do, we step into a new paradigm and walk away from trying to prove ourselves and step into just being ourselves.

Do you follow your own advice???

It’s a really cold Friday night (Saturday Morning to be exact actually)

And as I was talking to my ever so awesomely prolific Boss, a question popped out of nowhere that made have second thoughts, the question was: “Do you follow your own advice?” I wasn’t sure if this was work related or in general, but either way it applies to both: He also said “why not let them learn on their own, on their own risk?” – Well yeah, I think that would be perfectly fine if you had perfectly normal set of friends. But even so if I let that friend of mine wander on without any word of advice or a point of view from a different perspective what are the chances that they won’t climb up a 20-storey building and jump to their deaths??, or what about suddenly running in the middle of a speeding highway or train and wait for their little bodies to be mangled and crushed??,If I gave an advice to skin your enemy and turn their skins into a mask, would you do it?? what would happen to me then??? How would I function after they do that? but then again even if I give my piece of the puzzle, It’s still possible for them to do the same,..Ok this is getting morbid.

But as a child growing up I was always used to getting scolded rather than getting advises, I guess I only started getting actual advises during the start of my adolescent years, And it did affect the way I decide on things and the way I act, (Although I am still a kid).it also changed the way I understood things, Over the years I have learned that there are only 2 kinds of emotions, The good and the bad, it just that people interpret it in different ways, Our feelings are a feedback mechanism of where we are, if we are going off course or on course. And this is also affected by the people who are around us, if you are feeling something that you are not sure of or not used to, by nature you seek answers or some sort of point way to which direction or decision you should take and we rely on hints from objects or personas around us.The question there is if we indeed get a hint or an answer, would the person of where the answer originated from also follow the same thing he/she said?? I mean are they saying things that would really benefit that person or is that answer simply applicable for his/her current situation only? – The thing there is that no one can really answer that. You can only share your piece of the pie and hope that all goes well, if it does not – well at least you both learn something new, everyone needs a little learning everyday anyway. It shouldn’t be a measurement of what kind of friend you are with the weight of your advice, It would still be up to them to decide and whatever advice you give should really be a stand point of how they live, because its their lives.. not yours not mine, As with the “own risk “ part, it’s either you listen and think it through or be completely irrational and just act. (that does not hurt sometimes) We all lead different lives and the things that we do is somehow a reflection of what and who we are, We control our own thoughts because the fact there is more than enough in this world and we can just create it to the way we want it.

<< : Yes I Agree, just take a nap.

So to answer: Do I follow my own advice??

Love – NO

Work Practices – Sometimes

Habits – Most of the time

Everything Else – Not quite

                                                                            If you lost all hope would you jump in front of a train – HELL NO.

 I know advises changes things, but never ever  assume that giving one is playing the role of “GOD”, I mean if you really can’t make up your mind, Get a glass of water and TAKE A NAP.